“Bitter-Sweet Balance”

I used to know, the way you know that your frostbitten fingers and achy knees will all be fine when Spring will come.

Everything is bittersweet. The greatest joy ends and the deepest sadness heals. Perhaps, this ebb and flow from one type of experience to another, is what keeps us so entranced with life. We’re on an intermittent reinforcement schedule, and there’s no way to predict what’s next. Nature’s most intense expressions: tsunamis, earthquakes,avalanches all end with peace resumed.

God has however, equipped us with the strength to deal with both pain and pleasure equally and gracefully.“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” Beautifully quoted by—Anne Lamott.

If you choose to you can see strength and grace in everything.  Surely, it was strength that let you take a breath when the grief was so intense you thought your body would implode. But  it was grace that, after a night of tears that let you see the beauty of red leaves falling to the ground; and, it was grace that brought a smile to your lips when you saw a young couple holding hands.

The last few weeks have kept me in a confused state,mixed feelings of joy and sadness,a child coming home after a long time and another about to leave to persue her dream.

What do we know?  Why not assume the best?  It’s the nature of life to have balance: yin and yang, light and shadow.  All things contain seeds of their opposite.  If you ever had a baby, you know (consciously or unconsciously) that from the second your child is born they move towards increasing independence, and away from you.  Their self-sufficiency is actually your ultimate goal.

Daddy’s Darlings..

I never once envy the fact that daddy is loved far more then me.Really, not so unusual, just like most girls my daughters too love daddy immensely which i admire ofcourse.

Beautiful times these are now,when children are able to express themselves more freely and without inhibitions. In older times it would have been seen upon as taking liberty.Daddy too is all involved in checking out the very best options for his darlings…!

I remember how my husband counted all their fingers and toes just when they were born,tiny little angels in our lives. Then very very intently, would he peer into their eyes trying to see which color they were . For one has blue eyes and my other daughter has green, each one blessed with amazingly beautiful eyes.I may sound conceited but they really were enticingly pretty girls indeed. My doctor had commented when my second daughter was born,” In twenty years you’ll have two pretty girls raving the city mad”. I just smiled then but can clearly see truth in her words today.

After bringing my first daughter home,we realized life was just not the same………a new life had commenced.From the very calm moments we had started feeling  a strange kind of anxiousness, completely endearing and totally lovable in all senses.

No one was ready to let the babies cry, when the feeding bottles had to be readied there was complete chaos all around something like …….’China had attacked’. So much yelling from my husband and mom-in-law and screaming from my elder daughter who hated delayed response as far as her feeds went. Ironically, she herself did all her jobs through life at nerve wrecking leisure. And this was just not it !! she liked her milk at a fixed temperature,neither cooler nor warmer then that temperature that she had fixed for herself.She made sure her presence was felt with surety……………….all very loving an experience though she tried our patience no bounds !!!!!!!!! That’s called making ones presence felt.Very enchanting but no one dare touch her, she would blow up like a bomb.Loved being reserve ever since.

Then came my second angel. By now we had spent two years in child rearing so were ready for storm handling once again but she was soft breeze, calm and gentle. All too easy to handle.Born in the midst of summer heat i got her used to cold milk,no heating !! i had decided now. So she love cool flavored milk, for which we had to stock up the flavoring syrup way before winter commenced , cause then it just wouldn’t be available.

My little one was very friendly and a  had unique sense of attracting people, none could resist lifting or playing with her. Still enjoys a huge circle of friends. Daddy’s darling loved beer right from the very first sip, so every time daddy asked her to pull out a can of beer ,without question she pulled out two………one for herself, though just after a couple of sips she would rest her tiny head on daddy’s lap and doze off.

Mom comes in only to carry them to the softness of slumber.

“LIFE REFLECTS”

It  is our childhood and upbringing which reflects all through life.

Every child must be bought up with a lot of affection,love and admiration so that those values are instilled deep inside him/her.For what a child sees in those formative years shall become the very reflection of his/her personality.

So a very secure, calm, respectful and loved childhood is absolutely essential. Moral values must be adhered,cause values are more easily imitated by a child. The right and wrong of life may be taught a hundred times all through the upbringing but how you behave is what the child imbibes very naturally……..we as parents, are bound to set the example, for we are the childs most admired and closely perceived idols.

Quarrelsome and nagging parents often leave children extremely insecure and unloved, the child grows in a state of complete confusion not knowing why all the noise, when life could be so much fun, silent and calm and safe in the arms that rock the cradle.

“Let nothing be said or done with violence, but everything with softness and calmness”. A peaceful and secure childhood ensures the growth of a well dignified and honorable personality,which deserves just admiration and respect all along. And this is no favour,its simply the least we could offer our beloved child,nevertheless a sense of gratitude towards parents is also expected,for dad carried the lamp while you strutted along.

One more important aspect of rearing our darling child should be teaching ‘modesty’.  Here are some pleasant quotes which aptly put my thoughts across——–

“What It Means to Be Modest”

Do not boast what you will do to-morrow, for you know not what a day may bring forth.

Do you see a man wise in his own opinion? There is more hope for a fool than for him!

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the modest is wisdom.

Let another man praise you, not your own mouth. Some other, and not your own lips.”

There’s little to say now, cause with such values instilled nothing can ever go wrong. Hopefully you shall only see a well balanced and admirable personality.

“SAY YOU CARE”

First thing this morning my daughter sent me a wonderful ‘thank you’ greeting. At once i remembered how an elderly aunt had once told me that –’ it is important to express gratitude and love in words or by way of gifts’. The thought must be conveyed, she had asserted.

Caring is a feeling that we experience in so many different ways, the baby of love and the ultimate expression of our divinity. It is a way of showing tenderness to our beloved family. Love is an emotion that hold the power to heal and strengthen the physical and emotional body.

There have been times one expresses care and concern and yet gets hurt but love is the foundation to allow relationships and people to blossom. Just consoling and caring brings a feeling of overwhelming love and sacredness.

Our children,spouse and family go through phases where love is taken for granted and often do not realize the need to express,thinking the emotion is obviously understood. However, in expressing love every now and then, one does send out vibes that the finer feelings of people around are cared for. Although,when we choose to risk our hearts,we take a chance of being hurt or rejected,but the chance must be taken,cause love has a healing power and the strength to elate the spirit from within.

Once we allow our hearts to open and give full expression of love, we have hopes and expectations. And want our feelings to be reciprocated and valued,most times it is but sometimes love can be smothering, suffocating, controlling and needy. It can carry some all consuming fears if we have been hurt, betrayed, abandoned, rejected, or violated in the past. It can leave us in rejection because of it’s negative implications. Man has the ability to weigh pros and cons.So in certain situations we shut down and hide, unlike pets who reciprocate in totality.

Similarly we must ask, can we love ourselves unconditionally? Can we accept our own flaws and expect others to love us when we cannot love ourselves? What if we are not at our ideal best. What if we have made mistakes? Can we forgive ourselves? Will others forgive us? What if we’re not exactly where we view to be in our lives? Do we still deserve to give and receive love and care from all? Well ! it’s absolutely in our control to mature into a better person as soon as realization dawns and hence never late to begin caring, always a welcome emotion i seriously feel.

It is essential to have a secure and loved childhood in order to impart the same emotion in the later years of ones life,  and if we can fully open our hearts to the  expression of care and concern, carefully keeping  sanctity of the word love then it can be really good.

A beautiful transformation of personality with a sacred virtue imbibed.

‘The legacy’

With this extremely busy pace of life somewhere and somehow, it is becoming more and more tough to find time for each other. Moments of sharing and knowing each others joys and sorrows are getting narrower. But thanks to the various sites on the internet, people shall still be able to stay connected.

Had it not been for ‘orkut’, i still never could have connected with my little sister whom circumstances had distanced from me, and a very sweet  Mom whose love we all would never have been able to cherish again. Once more life seems blessed !!  I lost my little brother and will grieve his loss for ever, but God was kind and compensated me with 3 precious lives…… now we all remember my brother together and very fondly, hope it’s great relief to his dear soul.

I yearn not for any other wealth, ’tis the legacy of relations and loved ones that i wish to leave back for my daughters. There can be no greater sense of  fulfillment than having a family of your own,loved ones who shall stand by you, no matter what. The vacuum must be filled………., for just a ‘ Hi ‘ is really so easy, and takes very little effort too.

The third phase of life is when one realizes the importance of a family bond. That’s after having brought up ones own family,usually with a lot of sacrifice and hardship. So lose no more time, trust me life’s really short to foster grievances, let them slip like the sand in an hour glass, excuse and forgive all. Nurture just selfless love, and pass on the legacy. Cheers !!!

“JUST LIKE THAT”

HI MY DOLLS,

IT WAS 3.30 AM WHEN I TOLD DAD I WAS MISSING BOTH OF YOU. HE SAID ,’YOU SENT THEM SO FAR AWAY’ SO I SAID,’ NO YOU DID,’  BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO MAKE THEM INDEPENDENT, I TRIED TO EXPLAIN ……..

SEE —’PHYSIOLOGICALLY WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY THE WEAKER SEX,HENCE MEANT TO BE PROTECTED AND PROVIDED BY MEN WHOM GOD ALMIGHTY HAS MADE PHYSIOLOGICALLY STRONGER AND MORE MUSCULAR,RIGHT ! ‘ HE THOUGHT FOR A WHILE BUT AFTER FEW MINUTES OF THINKING DAD AGREED WITH ME,SAYING WHAT I SAID WAS PERHAPS  RIGHT, AND PROMPTLY WENT TO SLEEP.

HOWEVER, THE DEBATE WAS ON IN MY HEAD,HENCE I KEPT ARGUING WITH MYSELF,FOR AND AGAINST. I THOUGHT – ‘FIRST …….YOU WOULD LIKE  HER TO GO OUT AND EARN, THEN GET BACK IN THE EVENING TO GIVE YOU A PERFECT FAMILY”. HOW WOULD THAT BE POSSIBLE AFTER A FULL DAYS WORK.

DESPITE FLOWING FINANCES  THE FAMILY TOO ONLY HAS QUALITY TIME FROM THE MOTHER, NOT QUANTITY TIME. POINT TO REMEMBER IS—THE NANNY OR GOVERNESS IS WHOM THE KIDS GET MORE ATTACHED TO, ALTHOUGH KIDS ALWAYS YEARN TO HAVE THEIR MOM CLOSE.

SECONDLY, WHEN HUBBY DARLING COMES HOME FROM WORK HE  HOPES TO SEE HER AT THE DOOR WITH A JULIA ROBERT SMILE AND A STEAMING HOT CUP TEA,WHICH SHALL NOT HAPPEN BECAUSE SHE’S JUST COME HOME ALSO AND STANDS AS TIRED IF NOT MORE.YES OFCOURSE ! YOUR MAID MAY GET YOU REFRESHMENT AND THEN SHE SMILES AT YOUR HUSBAND IN POLITENESS, NOT YOU.

ALSO THE MOMENT OUR LADY WEARS THE TROUSERS AND LEAVES HOME TO WORK, SHE BECOMES VULNERABLE TO SOCIETY, AND LOTS OF TIMES A PARALLEL LIFE IS LIKELY TO BEGIN WHERE BOTH SPOUSES  HAVE PROBABLY CHOSEN REFUGE IN THE COMPANY OF MISS OR MR. X, WHO PROVIDES TEMPORARY RESPITE TO GIVE VENT TO PENT UP EMOTIONS AND FRUSTRATIONS.THOUGH—THIS MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN,BUT OFTEN IT DOES ONLY THE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT DEFINED,DARE CALL IT DECEIT AND THERE WILL BE MORE TROUBLE

SO MEN MUST BE MACHO ENOUGH TO TREAT THEIR LADY WITH LOVE, CARE,PROTECTION, SECURITY,RESPECT AND MOST OF ALL DIGNITY, BECAUSE HER PLACE IS AT HOME IN A SAFE COCOON,IDEALLY!! SHE DESERVES A LOT MORE,FOR GIVING YOU A WARM HOME TO RETURN AFTER SUNSET.

NEVERTHELESS,WOMEN MUST LEARN &  EDUCATE FOR HARD TIMES LEST CIRCUMSTANCES PUSH THEM OUT TO WORK AND FEND FOR THEMSELVES  BUT NEVER AT THE COST OF FORSAKING HER LOVED ONES.— ELSE, THERE SHALL BE DIS BALANCE,CAUSE PRIMARILY NURTURING YOUR LOVED ONES AND KEEPING THE HEARTH WARM IS VERY IMPORTANT PREROGATIVE.

TOGETHER,TAKING CARE OF THE FINANCES HE BRINGS HOME. SPENDING CAREFULLY,INVESTING FOR THE RAINY DAY AND SAVING FOR FUTURE  ALSO IS BIG RESPONSIBILITY, BUT SURELY YOU NEED TO HAVE COMPLETE FAITH AND TRUST IN EACH OTHER WHERE MONEY MATTERS ARE CONCERNED SO REMEMBERYOU PROMISED TO SHARE LIFE WITH HER.

SIMPLE–’YOU DO YOUR JOB AND I’LL DO MINE.’ SHE’S MEANT TO BE THE CALM IN HIS LIFE, GIVE HIM A LOVING NEST WHERE HE COMES HOME TO RETIRE,RELAX ,REJUVENATE AND BE WITH HIS LOVED ONES, I MAY BE WRONG?  BUT WEREN’T SATINS,SILKS,JEWELERY AND ALL THINGS SOFT  MEANT FOR WOMEN. MEN LOOK MORE ADMIRABLE IN THEIR MASCULINE ATTIRE.ROUGH AND TOUGH, DEPENDABLE  PROVIDER  AND  THE  PROTECTOR.THE “MAN “ALL WOULD LOOK UP TO IN TOTAL ADMIRATION.

HOWEVER,DESIRES AND ASPIRATIONS ARE RISING , AND WOMEN TOO ARE DESPERATE TO PROVE THEMSELVES.SO,”TO GAIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME”. NEVERTHELESS,THERE  ARE HOMES WHERE BOTH SPOUSES WORK AND  SYNCHRONIZE  BOTH WORK  AND PERSONAL LIFE BEAUTIFULLY.

WELL,” BLESSED ARE THOSE HOMES”. REALLY ADMIRABLE INDEED !!

PS. (MAIL TO MY DAUGHTERS).

” A GUARDIAN ANGEL”

“All night..all day angels watching over me, my lord….” this was a soothing  Holy song i sang when i was in school. And began to believe in the existence of ‘Holy Angels’. Fairies in beautiful white robes flying all over us.

Then as i grew and life became real in all senses,and with joys there was rough weather too,often walking through the dark.It was at such a time when  you are steered clear that  you begin to trust the presence of an angel,rather a power above. Do angels  actually exist? Is there any concrete evidence?

Obviously, a belief in one, all-powerful God is a prerequisite to believing in Angels,who protect  people from evil. Many believe that as very young children, we were all in contact with our personal Angels – long before our parents made us aware that such a concept even existed. Another common belief is that deceased relatives and friends may be watching over us in Angel-like fashion, ready to assist when things get rough for us. The idea of Angels being there to protect us is a very comforting,i have felt it all the time…specially very recently when i lost my brother  he had said,”you wait one day i’ll make sure all my loved ones are united”,and ever since he left he became my Angel.scattered pebbles are collecting steadily, but truly…….!!

Similarly,several cases of “miraculous cures”and life saving events must be attributed to visitations by Angels, along with many situations in which the attitudes of the person suddenly change drastically, though the basic life situation remains the same.There,surely must be a sweet soul which prods the pleasant change.

Unfortunately, Angels do not make themselves known to everyone, nor do they always reveal themselves when specifically called. The proof of their existence is therefore a very personal thing that is closely intertwined with the fundamental  beliefs of each individual. The conviction that Angles exist appears to happen little by little – in dreams, in the wonderment of nature, in sudden realizations, most importantly in intuitions, and finally in  coincidences.

So basically, no!  there is no concrete proof that Angels do exist, though millions have experienced this phenomena and have unshakable belief. For those with no God and no spiritual beliefs, trying to convince them of the existence of Angels is not possible. For the rest of us, all we need to do is open up spiritually and the answer will very likely come to us at an unexpected moment, maybe even in a dream.The surge of strength from within to stand up and face hardship is again an indication of a guiding power and a guardian angel who gently sails us through life.

However, the idea of Angels being there to protect us is a very comforting one. And mom and dad are often reflections of angels in our lives.

Trust me !! they will always exist,in flesh or soul.

“MUFFLED CHILDHOOD”

IN TRYING TO BRING UP VIRTUOUS GIRLS,A SELECT FEW PARENTS TEACH THE DO’S N DONT’S FOR GIRLS COMING FROM RESPECTABLE FAMILY’S.

CERTAIN MANNERS AND ETIQUETTE  ARE TAUGHT SO AS TO REFLECT THE NOBLE LINEAGE . HENCE , SOME OF THE MANNERISMS LIKE LAUGHING LOUDLY FOR GIRLS IN PARTICULAR WAS SEEN AS UNCOUTH BEHAVIOUR SIMPLY FORGETTING THAT IT  COULD  CAUSE THE CHILD TO FEEL MUFFLED.

POINT IS !! SHE TOO NEEDS TO UNWIND AND POUNCE AROUND LIKE A FREE SPIRIT,AN  ANGEL WHO CAN FLY WITHOUT BOUNDS…….’ ON WINGS OF JOY.’

‘LAUGHTER’, AN IMPORTANT POTION TO GOOD HEALTH. AN ANTIDOTE TO STRESS , PAIN AND CONFLICT , LAUGHTER TRIGGERS HEALTHY PHYSICAL CHANGES, DIVERTING THE BRAIN FROM CONCENTRATING ON DEPRESSIVE ISSUES.AND IF GIRLS ARE TOLD LAUGHING LOUD IS INDECENT THEN HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSE TO DE-STRESS ?………….. A MUFFLED CHILDHOOD CAN BE REALLY SUFFOCATING CAUSE ONCE SUPPRESSED IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO LAUGH ALOUD , EVEN THROUGH LIFE.

SO GO ON !!!! ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD,BE IT A BOY OR GIRL TO LAUGH THEIR  LUNGS OUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. ITS LIKE PULLING OFF A CORK AFTER SHAKING THE CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE.

HUMOR LIGHTENS YOUR BURDEN,INSPIRES HOPE ,CONNECTS YOU TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND SURELY KEEPS YOU GROUNDED ,FOCUSED AND ALERT.

DON’T WAIT FOR TOMORROW, INS TIL  A  SENSE OF HUMOR TODAY AND THEY SHALL SHED PETALS OF JOY ALL AROUND AND FOREVER.

IF YOU,LET THE CHILD LAUGH A LOT.THE AIR AROUND YOU WILL BE COOL AND CRISP.

“A SOLEMN VOW”

TALKING OF MARRIAGE IN PRESENT TIMES,THE ELEMENT OF TRUE COMMITMENT IS KIND OF MISSING.IT’S MORE LIKE A BUSINESS DEALING.
MARRIAGE IN FACT IS A VOW TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY,A PROMISE TO BE KEPT NO MATTER WHAT.MEN AND WOMEN OF HONOR AND INTEGRITY KEPT THEIR PROMISE.

ONLY ENDURANCE AND STEADFAST COMMITMENT TO YOUR VOW  WILL  BRING YOU GLORY. PRESSURE FROM FRIENDS OR RELATIVES, SYMPATHY OR GREED OF ANY FORM SHOULD NEVER BE THE REASON OR BASIS FOR MARRIAGE.
THERE ARE BOUND TO BE DISTRACTIONS IN LIFE  BUT REMEMBER ,THE PROMISE YOU MADE TO YOUR SPOUSE SURMOUNTS ALL !

YOU VOWED TO LOVE ,COMFORT ,HONOR AND TO STAND BY EACH OTHER ,OFTEN IN THE PRESENCE OF SEVERAL WITNESSES AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. THEREFORE FORSAKE ALL SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE WHO MAY CAUSE UNHAPPINESS OR DISTURBANCE.

LIFE’S JOURNEY IS LIKE A ROLLER-COASTER RIDE,BUMPS ALONG WITH SERENITY AND BLISS. STEER CAREFULLY, AVOIDING ALL PITFALLS ALONG THE PATH .NEVER GIVE UP AND NEVER TIRE ,TREAD TO THE END. IF YOU HAVE EACH OTHER THERE SHALL ALWAYS BE HOPE FOR HAPPIER TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“DE-CLUTTER”

WANT TO FEEL LIGHT IN THE HEAD ??

WELL THEN JUST DO AWAY WITH ALL THE UN-NECESSARY THINGS AROUND YOUR HOUSE.

SWITCH OFF FROM ALL EMOTIONAL  ATTACHMENT AND JUST PART WITH ‘ALL’ STUFF YOU HAVEN’T USED IN THE PAST YEAR,CAUSE MOST PROBABLY YOU NEVER WILL IN FUTURE.

YOU LOSE NOTHING , INFACT YOU WILL ONLY BE PROVIDING THE PEOPLE IN NEED OR DEPRIVED.

GIVING NEVER MAKES YOU POOR , IN THE LEAST YOU WILL COLLECT SOME HOLY BLESSING !!!!!!!!!

ALL  WERE BORN EMPTY -HANDED N ALL SHALL LEAVE LIKEWISE THEN WHATS THE GREED?? SURELY SECURING YOUR CHILDREN YOU MUST BUT HOUSEHOLD CLUTTER WILL HARDLY HELP,SO DO NOT HOARD .CLEAR-UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE.

LETS NOW DE-CLUTTER N FEEL LIGHT IN BODY AND SOUL.